You don’t know me but I have a lot of feelings about this as a vulnerable person. Your whining is really triggering and a lot of what you say frightens me.
Some recent things I’ve heard from psychopaths:
“I just don’t care for people. I feel nothing towards them.”
“Women look like deformed men.”
“I have fantasies of murdering people, like, all of the time.”
“I went to a cheap strip club to know what the scum of society is like.”
“Nicholas Cage wasn’t in Bee Movie.”
A lot of the people I meet think they’re going to be the next Toy Box Killer. You can read a full transcript of a tape he played for women online here. He would rape women for a month or two before releasing them completely drugged up in another location. His name is David Parker Ray, in case you wanted to YouTube this stuff later.
This is part of the transcript from the tape:
“Consequently, you are gonna be kept in an environment that is even more secure than a prison cell. If it has not already been done, very shortly a steel collar is going to be padlocked around your neck. It has a long, heavy chain that is padlocked to a ring in the floor.”
He got caught and spent about two years in prison before dying of a heart attack.
In a lot of places you get to have computers and PlayStations in prison. I knew a guy that went to prison. He said it was pretty chill, you just sort of watched TV and maybe worked out and ate Doritos. You’re even allowed to send emails to your victims’ families.
Don’t worry, I don’t know any murderers.
Anyway, you’re a psychopath. You think horrible things about strangling people. Society doesn’t understand you because you’re really smart, and we all know that all psychopaths are really, really smart. I mean, you know the stats that say CEOs are the most likely to be psychopaths.
But we’re talking about serial killers here and about how you are probably going to murder someone. You’re going to be successful in business and are going to notice minuscule details like how someone drops their pen on the floor or how a cat licks one particular paw before the other. You have the most twisted fantasies. Like, we’re talking Patrick Batman rat-in-a-bucket type fantasies.
Actually, given statistics, you’re probably a serial killer.
- The average IQ of a serial killer is 94.7. So they’re just as smart as you. There goes your CEO dream!
- Only 40% of serial killers kill for lust, power, or thrill. WOW! Since we all know you’re lazy as fuck and probably have no deeper ambitions than complaining about all the missing features in No Man’s Sky, these killers are just like you!
- Around 36% of individual serial killers are white. Bet that blew you away! And better yet, the general trend is that serial killers almost never kill outside their own race, so even if you are a white male you’re not a racist!
- Most serial killers aren’t abused. 70% come from normal, loving families. The cycle of abuse DOESN’T continue with serial killers! A traumatic experience with a clown as a kid doesn’t make YOU a clown killer, unless you’re the kid being murdered by a clown. In which case, you STILL don’t become a serial killer so it’s a win-win for everyone.
- If you’re a woman, you won’t start murdering until you’re 31, long after your partying days. So rest easy, you still get to have your fun and free twenties. And since the law discriminates more against men than woman (they’re more likely to think you’re crazy than violent) you’ll evade detection for twice as long as your male counterparts. Take that, patriarchy!
“But…the Milgram experiment! The Stanford Prison Experiment! I took psychology 101, I know all of us have the capacity for murder inside of us. Especially me, because I’m taking a psychology degree!”
I guess you could argue that a degree in psychology would make you become a great serial killer. Same with criminal justice, because you know the system.
Too bad that the other thousands of crazy people graduating with you also know the system. I’m sure they’ll make great coworkers.
Don’t feel bad about yourself. You deserve a participation award for being in the psychopath club! You’ve probably never killed someone and probably never will. I mean, all of us tortured some bugs as a kid, but you can go back to fantasizing about Hogsmeade because we all know that’s what you really care about. Slytherin forever.